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BRPD Blotter: APRIL

Updated: May 31, 2020



A Summary of the Month’s Most ... Interesting Criminals and their Crimes

 

04/08 - A CM addressed several monkeys in Bantanamo who, since making up more of the current jail population than the inmates, were made honourary members. A faint cry was reportedly heard in the distance.

 

04/14 - Due to a combination of human error and a very naughty monkey, an individual managed to pull off a brow-raising heist valued at $3 USD.

 

04/17 - A BAN address was posted in the chat with a request to play Black Monkey on their behalf. After they finished laughing, police removed the message.

 

04/18 - A monkey posing as a friend turned out to be foe when they sneakily shilled another F@H team. The monkey was tased and removed from the premises.

 

04/19 - A faceless account appeared in The Jungle asking for help in depositing BTC, offering a reward via PAYPAL or Amazon. BRPD was called to the scene and the likely-scammer was put behind bars.

04/19 - The “Future Self” of a currently jailed monkey joined the server and came to speak on the incarcerated’s behalf. The time traveller was soon banned by local police.

 


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