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Dear BanGran: AUGUST

Updated: Sep 28, 2020

Your sassy and straight up source of wisdom is here, and she’s got some tea to spill.

Dear BanGran: Is there anything good at all about getting old? Sincerely, GrayJ

Dear GrayJ,

I very much hope so! Being old, senile and crotchety, is something I personally looked forward to. A cross between Betty White, RBG and a Walmart greeter

Dear BanGran: How do I remember what question I asked you over a month ago? How will I know this one is my question when the next article comes out? Sincerely, Anon (Higgins)

Dear Anon (Higgins),

This is your question, this is the question you asked.

Dear BanGran: Why do naps usually make me more tired? Sincerely, Sleepy

Dear Sleepy,

It’s possible you ate too much Beernano Bread, or drank too much beer while making Beernano Bread. Every chef must taste the quality of their ingredients.. extensively! Even if that means taking an afternoon nap afterwards...ZzzZz


Dear devilman,

That entirely depends on your situation. Did you invest in crypto at its genesis? If so, you may be now sipping champagne on your private yacht. Are you living in your mom's basement hoping to be the world's oldest fortnite champion? That just takes time.

Dear BanGran: I have been diagnosed last April of colon cancer Stage 3b, what should I do to continue normal life? Sincerely, Anon

Dear Anon,

I'm not going to pretend I have the answer to this one. I’m a crotchety old lady and in my journey to old age, I learned you have to keep a sense of humour. Keep your inner meme energy alive and surround yourself with good humoured people. Please also reach out to cancer supports in your area as well as build a community around you of support and love.

Dear BanGran: How do you take your tea? Sincerely, Pasty

Dear Pasty,

I like my tea like I like my men:

• Named Earl

• Grey


• Both bags in

Dear BanGran: Why do cats deceptively lay on their backs to encourage belly rubs but then attack? Sincerely, Victim

Dear Victim,

Because cats are like tiny gods who love to torment those who worship them.

Dear BanGran: Pancakes or Waffles? Sincerely, Snaaaaacks

Dear Snaaaaacks,

Both at the same time! I am an equal opportunist when it comes to breakfast confectionery. You’re a growing monkey and there’s always room for another helping.

Dear BanGran: How do I know which cryptocurrency is right for me? I've tried a few and I like them, but I feel like I just haven't found the right one. So how do I know? Sincerely, lookinforcrypto

Dear lookinforcrypto,

When you find the right one, you'll know. The stars will align and angels will whisper "Banano….banano"

Random Bit of BanGran Advice, from BanGran herself, to all of you:

“As always dear readers, remember: If you are short on cash and all of your credit cards are maxed out, just get another credit card! It's free money!”

Want to get your questions answered by BanGran?

Do you ever just wish you had a sweet, supportive, sick-minded grandmother figure from which you could seek advice, guidance, or just some impartial realness with no sugar on top?

Pull up a chair at BanGran’s table, have some Banano Bread, and tell her what’s been goin’ on.

Ask BanGran questions about life, love, sex, drugs, personal and professional relationships, work, passion, things that piss you off, puzzle you, please you, provoke you, and everything in between. Get answers from the wise old lady who has more than just been around the block (if you know what we mean!)

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