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[NEWS] Banano Republic Sees Overnight Surge in Unqualified Doctors

The Jungles were overstaffed with unqualified and overconfident self-proclaimed doctors this past week when a monkey who we can only assume fell off the top branch of a tree and landed on their head began discussing the pointlessness of vaccines, masks, and self-quarantining.

Thankfully, it didn’t take long for dozens of newly accredited medical professionals to enter the chat and share their own take on the issue, as well as offer even more completely unsolicited and irrelevant health advice.

According to a witness, an unidentified monkey was seen sneezing in their hands and rubbing their face as an act of defiance against the self-isolation rule.

After what became several hours of questionable and irresponsible advice and otherwise total bullshit, it was finally clear that absolutely nobody had any idea anymore what they were talking about.

The Daily Peel urges you to think, think of others, and wash your hands.

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10 mai 2020

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