Dear BanGran: JULY

Your sassy and straight up source of wisdom is here, and she’s got some tea to spill.

Dear BanGran: Why do my cupcakes taste like muffins?

Dear Muffins,

Make sure you are using CAKE mix and don't forget to ice those suckers. No one likes a naked cupcake.

Dear BanGran: I feel like I make very unattractive faces while I orgasm. What do I do?

Dear Unattractive,

If I believed in god this would be their practical joke! Why we make the same face when we are in excruciating pain as when we are the thralls of pleasure, I will never understand. And as for you, own those crazy faces — we all make ’em.


Dear BanGran: What is love?

Dear Love,

Baby don't hurt me.

Dear BanGran: Where do all my socks keep going?

Dear Socks,

It is a well-known fact that socks are the required sacrifice to the dryer monster so they do not burn down your house.


Dear BanGran: How do I talk to my family about my Banano obsession?

Dear Obsession,

Do not speak, only submit. Banano is life!

Dear BanGran: At some point in life can we be free from social oppressors?

Dear Oppressors,

This is only due a serious answer. I believe so, but it requires unending work, constant examination of one's privileges, willingness to be uncomfortable and challenged in personal and public spaces, and a serious commitment to dismantling the public institutions that uphold inequality.

Random Bit of BanGran Advice, from BanGran herself, to all of you:


“As always dear readers, remember: if you are trying to get that special someone to swipe right, change all your tinder settings to match their profile and sit a couple of blocks away from their house.”

Want to get your questions answered by BanGran?


Do you ever just wish you had a sweet, supportive, sick-minded grandmother figure from which you could seek advice, guidance, or just some impartial realness with no sugar on top?

Pull up a chair at BanGran’s table, have some Banano Bread, and tell her what’s been goin’ on.


Ask BanGran questions about life, love, sex, drugs, personal and professional relationships, work, passion, things that piss you off, puzzle you, please you, provoke you, and everything in between. Get answers from the wise old lady who has more than just been around the block (if you know what we mean!)

Submit your questions to BanGran Here

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